The British are joyfully coming to play "Plant the Flag".

The Canadian Armed forces have begun a series of training exercises in the Great White North. Welcoming even that country’s Prime Minister, the military activity may appear to be simply aimed at Canadian preparedness. In fact, Canada is flexing its arm to assert dominion over the North Pole. Much like the American use of nuclear weapons to indirectly warn the Soviets in 1945, Canada wishes to stave off Norway, Denmark, Russia and the United-States in a bid to control the Arctic and more specifically the potential bounty of mineral and petroleum resources under it.

This “Operation Nanook” is largely thought to be a response for increasingly aggressive acts by competing countries to conquer the frozen north. Whereas Canada has installed advanced bases, moved Inuit communities further north and bought several patrol boats, the US patrols it with nuclear subs and Russia plays “Plant the flag”.

Oh yes, « Plant the Flag », a game most nations haven’t played since the XIX^th century and which was technically last played in 1969 on the moon. For those of you unfamiliar, it goes like this. In the 1800s, Great Britain would send soldiers to a land of savages and simply plant the Union Jack flag. In India for example, England showed up with a flag. The hundreds of millions of Indians claiming to be living there at the time were then invited to play. Unfortunately, not having a flag, India had to forfeit and submit to a century of English economic rape. You may notice that we can no longer play flag because every Third World nation got their own flag and because of that whole human rights thing.

So...is the moon American?

That being said, Moscow didn’t get the memo and brilliantly claims that this was simply to commemorate the brave pioneers that reached the bottom of the Arctic Ocean. Sure, and the Americans went to the moon to see what the golfing conditions would be.

A long awaited Klondike

As we proceed further down the history of the Canadian Northwest Passage, we remember the XV^th century efforts of Frobisher, Davis and others that led… well… nowhere. Later on in the XX^th century following many more failed attempts to find the route to Asia, an international order limited national boundaries to 200 nautical miles off one’s land. Unfortunately, the term “land” can be, and is, misleading. Denmark-controlled Greenland, Russia and Canada all claim that their “continental shelf” reaches out and covers the North Pole, making it theirs. Yes, clearly they can’t all be right but apparently no one is willing to do the gruntwork to actually test the geological strata. Or perhaps they are scared they may prove their adversaries victorious.

Finally, since the 2007 groundbreaking underwater flag ceremony, several conferences have been held to appease the powers. Despite the tentative negotiation efforts, their now exists a persistent state of stalemate regarding the northern question. Much like the Middle-East flourished following the inauguration of the Suez Canal, stay tuned for the frantic sprouting of oil rigs and drilling operations north of Canada that may raise international tensions to a level not seen since the cold war.

End.

Ah, the white El Dorado. Who would've guessed.